I thought I’d be writing a different review for King of Battle and Blood by Scarlett St. Clair.
When Bookish Box first announced they were releasing a special edition of this book, I was super excited. In fact, it was the entire reason I signed up to their adult fantasy romance subscription box to begin with.
The synopsis of the book details a vampire-themed fantasy romance in which a woman named Isolde de Lara has no choice but to marry vampire king, Adrian Aleksandr Vasiliev, and then promptly assassinate him, in order to end a years-long war.
Of course, things don’t go according to plan, and Isolde must find other ways to survive the brutal vampire court while Adrian threatens to raise her as the undead.
But moreso than the court or Adrian himself, what Isolde fears most is the undeniable chemistry she can’t escape whenever she’s around him. And she begins to wonder: why did he choose her, of all people, to be his consort?
I own the gorgeous Bookish Box special edition of King of Battle and Blood, so I really wanted to love this story, but I can honestly say this was the worst book I’ve read this year. Sadly.
Here are the problems that I personally had with this book.
5 Reasons King of Battle and Blood Just Wasn’t For Me: A Review
1) The sex scenes were terribly boring. I was honestly just so bored reading them.
2) The author’s descriptions of body parts made it even worse. If I wasn’t bored, then I was cringing and/or laughing my way through the sex scenes due to the unattractive way body parts were described in scenes that were supposed to be sexy. I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to be laughing my way through the sex scenes. I’m supposed to feel…uhhh…excited by them, if ya know what I mean.
I should have written down some specific examples, I know. But it was honestly just so bad that I couldn’t even be bothered with giving this book the time of day that it would have required to take notes and write down specific sentences. At the time of reading it, I also didn’t know that I would be starting a book blog in the near future, so my Goodreads review (which is basically what you are reading now) ended up being a bit sparse. Sorry.
3) The book was marketed as enemies to lovers, but the characters did not feel like enemies at all. This book was a lot closer to insta-love than it was to enemies-to-lovers.
4) There was no sexual tension between the characters at all.
5) This was basically just a book of sex with no plot…which I’m honestly still 100% for when the sex is great. I read a lot of various types of books: plot-focused fantasies with just a sprinkling of romance, romance-focused fantasies, and straight up erotica novels where the plot is just basically the sex and lots of it. So if you know how to do it right, a book full of nothing but sex can still be amazingly good.
Sometimes that’s all you need and all you want. Eroticas are a valid and exciting genre. But even in an erotica, I still expect there to be some sort of sexual tension or longing between the characters. I need that escalation of tension and that build-up of butterflies that happens when you’re waiting for the characters to get together and wondering when and how it will happen. I need the sexy banter and suggestive comments that make you long for the characters to start ripping their clothes off.
But I felt none of that in this book. In fact, it was the opposite. I couldn’t care less when they were taking off their clothes, and I couldn’t make myself care or feel anything because there was just no sexual tension anywhere.
You could have told me that two loaves of bread were f***ing each other, and it probably would have had the same effect. Because that’s about as sexy as it felt.
So in summary:
If a book is lacking in plot, I’m still capable of loving it (and giving 4 or 5 stars) when there’s amazing sexual tension or spicy scenes. But sadly this book had neither.
If a book is lacking in sexual tension or if the author’s attempt at writing romance falls flat, I’m still capable of loving the book (and giving it 4 or 5 stars) if it has an amazing plot, story, or world-building. But sadly this book had neither.
You have to have at least one or the other! If you have neither plot nor amazing sex scenes, then sadly, I have no other choice but to write a disappointing review like this one.
As always, sorry to everyone who fell in love with this book. If you haven’t read it yet, read it for yourself and form your own opinions. Don’t let some random person on the internet influence your decisions. Maybe it’s the book for you, but it just was not the book for me.
King of Battle and Blood Review Originally Written on July 9, 2022
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